Marriage: Romance, Humor, and GOD

“First, take care of your marriage; then your children will have everything.”

After reading this quote at some holiday store, I never really looked at marriage the same way. I used to feel so selfish, so guilty whenever I leave the kids with their grandparents to spend a night out with Edison. After all, who does this? I don't remember my parents spending the weekend together all by themselves... and yet they are still together until now - almost 30 years of marriage! Does it really matter to take time for one another?

On May 10, 2003, I vowed to take Edison as my husband – to love him and to honor him... all the days of my life...

Of course it matters that we take time for one another!

No, he is not going to be lovable all the days of my life. No, we will not agree on little things, like which Kleenex box to buy at Target, all the days of my life. No, we will not always see eye to eye on more complex issues, like how old we are going to allow Edward and Alison to date, all the days of my life. But these million and one different things that pull us in all directions should not keep us away from the very core of why we even have a family to begin with: our marriage, our relationship.

ROMANCE – Edison and I say “I love you” to each other everyday, but thank GOD for the romantic that he truly is! Every Valentine’s Day since we were boyfriend-girlfriend, he always had flowers for me. And ever since we got married, he added two more occasions to “surprise” me with flowers: Our Wedding Anniversary and My Birthday! It’s that sweet and simple thoughtfulness in him that revitalizes our marriage. Sometimes, I would greet him, “Hi, Boyfriend!” And the kids would be all, “Eww, Mommy, that’s not your boyfriend! That’s our Daddy!”

HUMOR – If there is one thing that I’ve learned from Edison, it’s that you just can’t take everything personally. How I wish somebody had told me this before! Most of the time when you hear older people talk about marriage, you could always expect them to say that it’s this HUGE, SERIOUS COMMITMENT… which it is. But I say, don’t forget to laugh! Edison and I laugh about silly things together, like Jack Black’s antics on Saving Silverman or things that Chandler says on F.R.I.E.N.D.S (Yes, I got him hooked on my all-time favorite show!)… We laugh about Edward’s newest tricks or Alison’s newest words. Laughter keeps everything light and healthy – not just in marriage, but in all types of relationships as well.

GOD – above all! I must admit that there are times when no amount of romance or humor can save me from lashing out on Edison. I am human after all. And then I think about Jesus… about God… about how no matter how sinful we are, He manages to forgive us and love us unconditionally… what a perfect love! I realize that I can never ever love that perfectly, and therefore should never ever expect Edison to love me perfectly, because only GOD can love that way. So during trials in our marriage, I would ask the Holy Spirit to come and enlighten me. I would meditate on the words that Gary Thomas wrote in his book, Sacred Marriage:

Jesus, the only perfect human being to live on this earth, moved toward sinful people; He asks us to do the same, beginning with the one closest to us – our spouse.

Dear Lord, Thank You for Your love so perfect. Help me to do my best everyday to mirror that perfect love, so I can be the best wife and mother that I can be.